Life happens, raindrops fade into tear drops, heroes slide into zero, all that is left are tinnie winnie bits of slowfades...and in these moments, we all seek deep seated answers, heartfelt truths and divinely orchestrated solutions.
Defining Moments(DM) with Helen is a "let's talk about it" blog that FOCUSES ON LIFE's complexities, with a bid to unearthing possible life changing solutions.
I’m in love. Helloooooo, Can you read me? I said I.AM.IN. LOVE. Come on, this is the point where you Pause, give me *the look* and then scream...ARE YOU SERiiiiiOUS with a teddy bear hug? Well, I’ve been meaning to tell you and i’m glad i finally have.
Don't even think about it...He's sooooo taken
Hmmm, I’m so in love. I can’t help it. He’s totally off the hook and the Alter will be glad to have us in the next few months. Did i mention, He’s the best thing that ever happened to me since Sound of Music. Funny innit? Check this out, his accent is a mixture of creamy and yummy, his physique is a blend of icy and spicy. This dude is totally and Legally taken, deal with it.
...Slow fade...Well, i think i do love him even though he snores and farts alot (Eeeew), everything has changed ever since we tied the knot. It used to be “My darling” but now it’s “Hey You” or something even worse than that. For every tip toe of a female, he stares with his mouth wide enough to attract a fly. Ah! I fear for my children, Bisi, Prisca and most especially 9month old Temi who is still learning what it means to be a baby boy. Jovial and fun loving daddy no longer exists as long as the home front is concerned. All that is left of daddy are late nights, bottles of alcohol and a few early mornings with the children almost calling him uncle for a lack of resemblance of the sweet husband and father they once knew.
I want to leave my husband, but i certainly cannot. Tell me, who will be my children’s heroine when their hero is lost? They say God is merciful, it’s a shame i don’t know him well. The last time i tried saying a prayer, i almost made a mess of myself because my repetitions were frustratingly countless and tiring. I want to save my home, really i do. Everything is totally falling apart and if it means me using a rocket to get to God, believe me, i definitely will.
It’s been three months now, and the colours of the rainbow are crystal from where i stand. Who would have thought that Ade, my very own mesmerized, shattered and distracted Ade will return with so much love to his family? I found God, or rather He found me...whichever you choose, there was a finding after all. Just in case you’re reading me, and you’re seriously upset with me, pleaaaaase find it in your heart to forgive me because, I’M STILL VERY MUCH IN LOVE, in love with that dude; Yes the very totally and legally taken dude i earlier wrote about. You know something, right now it’s totally clear to me, and i can confidently speak of love only because I came face to face with LOVE HIMSELF. God is indeed all we need to have all all our needs met.
DEFINE SOMEONE'S LIFE WITH DEFINING MOMENTS TODAY
.......................MaKe YoUr LiFe CoUnT..........................
You love Pink and green, I could kill for purple and clean. You’ve got your own reasons but I pick my own seasons. You talk espanol, I walk Francais. You’re everyone’s kind but i really don’t mind. I dine with blacks, you say that’s razz; You ride with whites, to you, that’s Class. The world’s a mess when you think of me as less so why call me inferior because I’m not your mirror?
Tobechuckwu is dead because of the combat you led and Dami has lost her legs because of the wrong you failed to peg. My heart beats for tomorrow, not for great deeds of our heroes, but this beat for tomorrow, is one with much hurt and sorrow.
You’re 5ft 8 and I’ve lost much weight. So why does your eight interfere with my weight? Why shop for war when peace is more; why look for fight when much is in light? No one can bring back Tobe, he didn’t ask for what he got; For when we dread our difference, there’s so much that is lost.
Creation didn’t cause this, you and i did. And until we embrace our difference, our lives will be a wasted creed.
.......................MaKe YoUr LiFe CoUnT...................
It's 8am and i just got into the office. I'm settling in, doing all i have to do; sorting out files, working on some report, blah blah, blah. And,GBOOM! It just hit me, "I'm supposed to have sent a very crucial mail at 7.30am". What in the world was i thinking? By the way, i've decided to go online and log into my mailbox. Wait a minute, I just noticed a mail titled "URGENT, PLEASE READ". Pondering and wondering, yet kinda ignoring what the mail entailed because i've got something really important to do, like..."send a mail", remember?
Okay, this is it. I'm done sending the mail and out of curiosity, i'm reading the initial mail that caught my attention. My God, it's really heart rending to find or be in the know of what alot of people are going through. Anyway, Below is a content of the mail, and if you ask me, I'd say it's a MUST-READ indeed.
I've been an ardent follower of DEFINING MOMENTS on face book for a while now and i've been blessed by your articles. It's really been a hard year for me, the more i try to get a grip of myself, the more i slip away. Having noticed your facebook status yesterday on how you've finally started a blog, i decided to check it out. When i was done, i just felt convinced that it was about time i shared my story.
I am 20 years old and i currently live with a dear aunt of mine in Lagos. Four years ago while living with my parents in Enugu, something strange happened to me. A male cousin of mine came to the house to visit as he regularly did. My parents had gone out, so it was just he and i at home. We were playing our usual scrabble game and i won him twice. After the game, he gave me some money to go buy a bottle of coke for myself. I ran out quickly and then returned. I had began drinking and we decided to play another game. After a few minutes, he said he was thirsty and pleaded that i go get him another bottle of Coke. So i hurriedly ran out to return quickly so that he wouldn't alter the game or try anything funny. I came back we played a while and all i could remember is me waking up at 6pm with so much cramps in my lower abdomen and a little blood stain on the bed.
Seeing i had stained the bed, i felt i had lost count of my menstrual cycle. So i stood up washed up and went to buy a sanitary towel, but i was still feeling some pains afterwards. I told my mum about it, and she said it would pass and she gave me pain reliever. The blood didn't flow for very long, and that surprised me, but i shoved it off and decided to focus on other things. Three months after, i began noticing some changes in my body. My mum called me and asked me some funny questions like "Am i pregnant"? Helen, this was the point where i began dinning with fear. All the signs proved that my mum couldn't have been lying. But then again, if she were right, how could it have been. As fas as i was concerned, i was still a virgin.
To cut the long story short, i was confirmed pregnant by the doctor after a test. But the question remained HOW? My both parents beat me severally saying that i was concealing the identity of the man responsible. Helen, tell me, how on earth can i conceal such seriousness when i didn't even know who it was or how it happened. After several months of tears and worry, the thought eventually came to me. The thought of the day i bought coke for my cousin and i. But many times, i kept refuting such thought. Finally, i realized that was the only clue i had, my only alibi and so i had to tell my parents. Of course no one believed my cousin was capable of such, not even i. Well daddy decided to call him home for some questioning, and after several threats, he confessed that he had drugged my bottle of Coke when i went to buy his and when i had fallen into a deep sleep, he had his way with me.
This is all that's left of me
Now, my son is four. He's brought me alot of sorrow. He doesn't know he's mine because i can't bring myself to tell him. I get to visit him sometimes and he thinks i'm his elder sister and that's totally fine with me. My relationship with my best friends(my parents) are now really strained. They say i have brought shame to my family. It's been four years but the ordeal still keeps haunting me and i haven't set eyes on my parents since the birth of my child. He stay at my grandmum's because she's the only one who accepted to take him in and as far as he's concerned, that's the mother he's grown to know. I really do not know what to do. I don't even think i can be a good mother to him and i hate my parents for abandoning me when i needed them the most. Helen, this whole ordeal has changed me into becoming something i can't even recognize. Please i really need help.
(I DON'T MIND THIS BEING PUBLISHED ON YOUR BLOG, PERHAPS THERE MIGHT BE SOMEONE WHO HAS GONE THROUGH THE EXACT SAME THING AND HER CONTRIBUTION MIGHT HELP ME)".
Darlings,she obviously needs our help. Please feel free to leave your comments and suggestions.
(You can also send me a mail about certain complex moments in your life that you wish to share with us, you never know, God can bring you healing through someone's soothing words)
DEFINE SOMEONE'S LIFE WITH DEFINING MOMENTS TODAY
...............MaKe YoUr LiFe CoUnT........................
...It was her heart that shredded in bits and pieces at the immediate sight of what she called "another terrible God-given mistake". The doctors and nurses were equally perplexed, but definitely not as perplexed as Caroline or her gorgeous husband. Initially i felt this was some kinda movie script not until i saw the children myself.
Caroline has always been a vibrant and exceptionally loving mother to her first daughter, Mandy who happened to have been born deformed (with an imbecilic challenge). Having to cope with a cute imbecilic child wasn't exactly the cute married life Caroline envisaged; but somehow, through the tears, trauma, gossips and all, she was able to find a smile hidden underneath her daughter's frail life. Time has passed, Mandy is now three years old, and with the love and care of her both parents over the years, light appears to be shinning at the end of a seeming dark tunnel for the family.
But i wish, or rather Caroline and her husband wished that this new found light will keep shinning brighter and never go close to being dim. But i guess, life sure has a way of playing tricks on us. Caroline just gave birth to her second child a week ago. I was really glad when i saw her missed call cos she had earlier told me that she'd be due that week. So i returned her call ASAP, only to hear the sound of sadness, questions,bitterness and finally, the words "Helen, it has happened again". what had happened again? i wondered...and she went on..."another terrible God given mistake".
This time i knew exactly what she meant. I mean, how dare she call her own child an "Imbecile" or something close to it? So for a lack of, do i say , the right or wrong words...she had to use something else to describe the child she had given birth to again. It's indeed been a traumatizing phase for Caroline and her family. She needs not just our prayers but our help. She's a member of DEFINING MOMENTS on facebook and a dear friend of mine.
What do you advice she does...How can Caroline handle this phase of her life without totally falling apart?
*FOR THE SAKE OF CONFIDENTIALITY, THE NAMES USED IN THIS SEGMENT ARE TOTALLY NOT RELATED TO THE PEOPLE GOING THROUGH THE ORDEAL*